Husnu zhan.



Run! Run~~~!!!

His heart was beating fast, faster than he could ever run.

“Tuk, tuk, tuk..”

“How should I open this~~??”

His icy cold fingers were stiff, numbed by the vicious frosty wind which almost pushed his small figure to the ground. Drove to frustration by his own hands, he pushed the handle down using his right elbow and burst opened the white door.

His lips moved slowly, trying to force an apologizing smile while still panting rather loudly. “Zdravzstvuyte…”

The whole class was silenced by the interruption he caused. Walking hurriedly towards his desk, his steps came to an abrupt stop; when the teacher suddenly glanced at him with a stern expression, at the same time lifted his right hand up, revealing a silver watch on his wrist; and said:

“Aren’t you a muslim?”

Fatih’s face felt warm, even warmer than the central heater inside his room. Drops of cold sweat rolled down from his temples and onto the tiled floor. Oh! The shame! All of a sudden, he found himself plummeting downwards, freefalling with the tiles from the class and his drops of sweat, into a never ending abyss. His arms were stretched out, trying to reach anything he could grab.  “Allah!”

Gasping for air, Fatih managed to open his eyes and caught a look of the things he didn’t expect to see. Laptop? Notes? Pillows? Eh? “Astaghfirullah…was I dreaming..?”

The microwave oven clock showed 6.30am. Alhamdulillah. Enough time to get ready for class~~ Fiuh~~ Not wasting any time, he hopped off from his bed, did some stretching and prompted himself to start the day.


As he tied his shoelaces, he took his red muffler and pressed the button “ON” on his mp3 player. He looked at the mirror and opened the door while saying basmalah. As he took his first step, he pressed the “PLAY” button on the mp3.

The young man’s ears were instantly flooded by : “Kesenangan yang datang, tak akan selamanya, begitulah selepas susah ada kesenangan…seperti selepas malam , datangnya siang, oleh itu waktu senang jangan lupa daratan………..”

From far, he could see people waving at him, hopping up and down; desperately trying to capture his attention.

As he jerked off the earphones from his ear canal…..“Fatih, bus!! Run!! Faster!!!!”, shouted 3 figures from the other side of the road. Fatih crossed the road as fast as he could, with his red muffler trailing behind his back. Every breath fogged up his geeky glasses but he kept on going. As he reached the bus stop, his eyes swept along every corner searching for the bus.

“Eh, Fatih, Fatih.. sorry, heheh..wrong bus la…heheh..” uttered one of his group mates when he saw Fatih frantically glancing right and left, even taking off his glasses to ensure that the fogged glasses didn’t limit his view.

“Owh…okay.”  responded Fatih, trying to act cool even though his face was flushed, still catching his breath. The four of them stood there silently, waiting for bus number 68 to come.

“Ah! Bus, bus!” shrieked a guy in an oversized neon green winter coat. All of them rushed to the middle of the bus stop to yet again be let down by bus number 43 which was as empty as their grumbling stomachs.


Waiting. Their hands were tucked safely inside their pockets, trying to preserve the heat generated; helping the vessels which were constricting dutifully in order to maintain normal temperature of the body. As the compensatory signs of hypothermia started to manifest themselves glaringly, they started to shiver. But after some minutes they started losing the feeling of their foot bit by bit. Like standing on nothing. Floating in mid air.

The crunching sound of the compressed snow caused by the turning of the tyres of the bus made Fatih feels warmer.

“68 is it?” asked Fatih with his eyes closed, trying to ignore the cold.

“Nope…” the rest of them mumbled disappointedly.

“I’m gonna lose my toes by the end of internal med cycle la if macam ni~!” uttered one of them, angered by the seemed to be non-existent 68 bus.

“Datang la nanti tu…insyaAllah, insyaAllah!” said Fatih, comforting his friend, at the same time himself.
Datang la nanti tu....InsyaAllah
Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang beriman adalah mereka yang apabila disebut nama Allah gemetar hatinya dan apabila dibacakan ayat-ayat-Nya kepada mereka, beratambah kuat imannya dan hanya kepada Tuhan mereka bertawakal,” –Al-Anfal:2


Still waiting. Now, all of the group members were already there. The darkness of the winter subuh was lifted, and the garish sunlight started to smile upon their frozen faces.

“Should we just go home now…?” asked Fadhil, hesitantly; as his eyes followed suit several people who waited with them since 8 am, walking to the other side of the road; towards the hostel.

“Yelah..i can’t feel my legs and…my stomach’s digesting itself…should we…” said Termizi.

“There’ll be no bus…will there…ya Allah, sampai bile ni..” , Fatih monologue within himself. His fingers were painful, as if bitten by those little snowflakes. They were as stiff as little twigs, reminding him of his dream the other night. “The teacher would be so mad! WAAhh! What to do? What to do? WAAhh!!!”  he thought, looking down at his boots; not knowing how to explain himself later.

“Eh, 68! 68! Finally~~~ Alhamdulillah~!!” said Fadhil happily to Fatih, almost shouting his lungs out.

“Subhanallah”, whispered the young man with the red muffler wrapping his neck automatically, as the doors of bus number 68 swung open right in front of him. Fatih was very embarrassed with himself when an ayah from the holy quran circled inside his head:

“….Mereka ditimpa kemelaratan, penderitaan dan diguncang (dengan berbagai cobaan), sehingga Rasul dan orang-orang yang beriman bersamanya berkata “Kapankah datang pertolongan Allah?” Ingatlah, sesungguhnya pertolongan Allah itu dekat.”    - Al-Baqarah:214


As if trying to test their patience, the cuboid-shaped machine with four big tyres moved slooowwlyyy, slower than a rock. When they thought that they’ve moved 2 meters forward, the bus moved 2 meters back….Cars, buses, lorries, vans; you name it; everything could be seen lining up along the tarred road. The line was as long as the eyes could see.

“Biar betul….” Termizi scraped the frosted window to take a look outside.
Bus collision
Termizi’s eyes almost popped out when he saw two buses which looked like they collided with each other. Pieces of shattered glass were everywhere. The front part of one of the buses was coal black, as if it had caught fire.

“That’s why the bus is moving this slow~~”

“Mizi, do you think that the teacher will be mad at us?” asked Fatih, just to let out the load from his chest.

“Yep, of course! Class starts at 9 kan? Heheh..”



As they reached hospital number 13, they quickly took off their winter coats and ran straight into the class on the 12th floor. Waiting for the lift means that 30 more minutes would be burned to ashes.

Anxiously, they took their respective seats and waited for the teacher to come. Fatih held his breath as the sound of Tamara Georgeevna’s footsteps came nearer and nearer towards the door.

“Kreekk” the door opened noisily, as if trying to increase their anxiousness.

“Good morning students. Why are you late?” the dreaded question finally came out from her mouth.

But even before Fatih’s lips could even open, she continued, with a smile on her face;

“Car accident again is it? Okay, let’s start our lesson for today……….”

Fatih’s jaw dropped, not believing that she didn’t even scold them. She even invented an excuse for them! She had husnu zhan towards them. Not even the slightest wrinkle was visible on her face to indicate that she was mad!

Again, Fatih’s face became plethoric, and warm, his ears were burning. Pulling out his hanky, Fatih wiped the sweat dripping from his temples and chin. “Ya Allah!”

In his mind, he recalled and counted how many times he had suuz zhan towards his teacher and even towards Allah on that very day!

While waiting for the bus, he was almost sure that no bus would come; inside the bus; dreading that bad things like being scolded by Tamara Gregoreevna would happen; ah! So many many times! How could he?  How dare he?? Even Tamara Georgeevna could husnu zhan towards them,but he, Fatih; he had suuz zhan towards Allah?  T_T

When the bus number 68 made them wait for more than 1 hour; why didn’t he remind himself of Allah’s promise in surah al-insyirah?

“Maka sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan ada kemudahan, seungguhnya bersama kesulitan ada kemudahan,”   -Al-insyirah : 5-6

His eyes turned red and glassy when the whole day repeated itself inside his mind…astaghfirullahalazim.
Daripada Abu Hurairah r.a., Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda yang bermaksud: "Bahawa Allah Azzawajalla berfirman: "Aku hanya mengikut sangkaan hamba-Ku sahaja. Kalau ia bersangka baik kepada-Ku, Aku pun akan berbuat begitu.Kalau ia bersangka buruk kepada-Ku, Aku pun akan berbuat begitu terhadapnya."

 “Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Jauhilah banyak dari prasangka, sesungguhnya sebahagian prasangka itu dosa,.....”    -Al-Hujurat: 12

Fatih closed his eyes, causing tears to roll down his cheeks when the sentence that was spoken by a character in his dream echoed in his ears: 
      "Fatih, aren’t you a muslim?"

Yes, yes, I am a muslim..InsyaAllah!

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